Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Ok, it was only 2 miles....but still!

Ya know what? I ran- OUTDOORS- in the winter time! And I didn't die of cold! WOW, who knew I could do it? I don't know why I chose yesterday of all days to run outside. It was the coldest it's been so far, I certainly could have picked a warmer day. Maybe I wanted to face the temps at there coldest to see if I could actually stand it. It wasn't the greatest experience of my life, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. And best of all, I didn't fall down once. I thought for sure I would slip on the ice, ya know, just as a car was driving past! But I didn't! I didn't even buy any new clothes for the occasion. I layered myself with what I found around the house, and I looked like a damn fool, but I stayed warm, maybe a little too warm, and I think I am going to do it again real soon. Thanks to everyone who offered me encouragement. I know I wouldn't have even got myself out there to give it try if it weren't for you guys!

Jeanne, I am soooo going to work on my paragraphs. ANYONE would have trouble reading white letters on orange!

Friday, December 02, 2005


I can't believe its been a month since I last posted. Strangely it feels like it has been a year. I feel like I have lost touch with everything involving running. I still read some of the running blogs I used to, but mostly I avoid them because they make me feel like a smuchk. I am still running but it's just not the same as it was before. I have lost my motivation, lost my groove. I don't understand why either. UGH! Maybe it's the winter time that has me bummed. I get really depressed in the winter, the lack of sunshine?, and everything in life just takes a dive bomb. I think it also has to do with running on a treadmill inside a completely un-stimulating old building. Before the cold set in I had run maybe twice on a treadmill, but now it's EVERY SINGLE RUN. It's horrible but I just can't bring myself to run outside. ITS COLD OUT THERE PEOPLE! And I don't have the neccessary clothes for outdoor running. It would mean new shoes, new jacket, new tights, new pants..... VERY EXPENSIVE! I just spent 60 dollars on running clothes and that was only a shirt and pants! Okay, whine, whine, whine, I know. But I hate the cold. Hate it! I am the world's biggest baby when it comes to the cold. I have to fight with myself just to change into my running clothes before going to the gym. Our house doesn't have heating vents upstairs so our bedrooms are pretty cold. Leaving the warm couch and venturing upstairs and getting naked only to put on thin little running clothes is not too appealing. But ya know what? I've been doing it. However, I could not keep on my 10k schedule. I just couldn't run longer than 4 miles on the treadmill! The longest I ran on one was 4.5 miles and that took me over an hour. ON A TREADMILL! It was torture. I got discouraged. I almost gave up. I missed the next long run. Then I missed my 2 mile run. Then I said, what the hell are you doing! Get back there and get running! I am not going let the winter completely sabatoge my running. But I have decided to put the 10k training on the back burner. I am still pretty new to running and I want to concentrate on getting faster on my 3 mile runs. I don't want to end up hating running because I pushed too hard too fast. Maybe for some people this would sound whimpy, but for me, it works. When I made this decision I felt immediatly better about running and I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. So, I'm not giving up! And come spring I'm going to step it up a notch. But for now, I am going to get to know this running thing a little better before I aim too high.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


I haven't posted for awhile, it seems I have some sort of mental block about it. Like when I even think about posting I immediately make an excuse not to. Weird, and I don't know why, other than perhaps there is a lot of stress and a lot of changes going on in my life right now. Strangely though, these changes have temporarily given me more time in which to do anything I feel like doing, or , as has been the case, to do absolutely nothing! It's wonderful and horrible at the same time. Partially because I really don't know who I am without work, and that's kind of sad. I don't do well without structure in my life. Schedules work good for me, although while I have one I usually resent it and imagine life without them. But I am coming to appreciate them now that I don't have one., although, like I said, it is only temporary. I know I should just enjoy this time while I have it but I am left wondering, enjoy the time to do what? Besides running, of course. But to be honest, I am not using all my free time to run. I still run at the normal times, at night. You would think that I would take a morning run or even a afternoon run, but no. My mind is set to run in the evening and that is what it wants to stick with. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Who knows?

I am still doing the 10k training program, but I guess I should tell you I don't plan to run in a 10k race. At least not now. I am just trying to build up to be able to run that distance. Like I said, I do very well with schedules, well, at least I do much BETTER with schedules. Without a plan I think my running career would completely crumble and fall on the wayside. I have this great fear of veering off the schedule. And that' s great cuz I keep on truckin'. I'm not doing as well with the cross-training though. I do all the running, some of the strength training,( I HATE IT!), but all of the running. Last Sunday I actually ran 4 miles! I was super excited to reach that distance, but damn that is a long way! Does it start to seem not as far the farther that you go? I hope so.

???Question for anyone who runs on a treadmill: Does it feel like you have to run faster on the treadmill to keep up with your usual pace outdoors? It sure feels like that to me! Is it in my head, does it have to do with the ground moving beneath your feet, what is it!?!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Funky town

Today I am in a major funk. Why? I have no idea. Things are going great, it's FRIDAY, I am starting a new job soon that will not only pay more, but it's also what I went to school for. The job I'm at now has nothing to do with what I want to do for a living. Plus, I have to drive out of my way to get here and my new job is walking distance from my house. I know and like all the people I will be working with and I will be a part owner of the business. Now how cool is that? I should be happy right? Why am I not happy?!?! Uhh, just one of those days I guess.

I went for a two mile run last night and did a few dumbbell exercises afterward. Everytime I run for less than 3 miles I assume that the run will feel light and breezy and ya know what? It never is. I don't know if that is a mind trick I play on myself or if it's just reality. Do I just over think how easy it will be and then when it's a little work I am surprised? No clue.

I have discovered that my lungs do not like the cold weather. I had some trouble breathing and it took me longer than usual to catch my breathe when I was finished. Highly annoying seeing how it's going to get much colder and I do not like running on the treadmill.

Last night I felt I needed some inspiration so I went down to the bookstore and bought The Complete book of Running For Women. So far I really like it. Expect the part where she writes something along the lines of, "...going a relaxed 10 minute per mile pace....". Hah! I can't even run a 10 mpm pace yet, and if I did it would not be relaxing. I'm slow. Can't help but say it. I feel so slow. Last night I ran my 2 miles in 24:33 and that took effort. I know, I know, don't worry about speed right now, work on distance. I really want to do that, but I can't help but beat myself up every now and then. But on a positive note, I have started a new program. Hal Higdon's 10k novice program. I am on week 2 so this Sunday I run 3.5 miles! I am excited to up my mileage and soon be able to run 6 miles! See? Up and down, up and down. That has been my whole day. I think I will relax with a few glasses of wine tonight. Ahhh, that sounds so good!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

2nd try

I had a really long detailed post about my race and when I went to post it, POOF!, it's gone. I lost my first post. You never think it's going to happen to you. I would say that post was possibly, yes, yes, definitely, my best post ever!!! Oh well, back to the boring posts!

Now I am going to make this short and sweet cuz I just don't have it in me to go through that all again. The highlight of the race was passing a 70 year old woman, (she rocks!), and the low point was waiting to cross the road for a very slow moving semi, UGH! Oh and who would have thunk it? I actually pasted some runners! And even more amazing is when I went past they didn't stick there leg out and try to trip me, but instead they smiled and gave comments like, "Good job!" You runners are so nice!

When I arrived at the starting line I was just amazed by all the runners around me. I always run alone, and I have never attended a running event, so to be around all these runners was an awesome and surreal experience. For me it was like of like seeing something you like on the internet and going to that page a million times a day to look at it, then finally going to the actual store and seeing it in person and it's way better than you thought it would be. Just cool, ya know?

Right when I go there I had to pee, AGAIN!, but foolish me I figured I would wait until after I walked my warm-up, thinking maybe the line for the ONE port-a-potty would shorter. No such luck. Actually the line was longer. And I had about 7 minutes to get to the starting line. I was freaking out a little but thankfully I made it in time. Like just in time. I took my place in the way back and then, BOOM, we were running. I had to past about a kagillion walkers in the beginning since it was also a 5k walk. But eventually the path cleared and I was running and feeling so good! I wanted to run faster but I remember the advice all you guys gave me, (thanks so much!), and kept a slow pace for the first mile. Me and a walker were battling it out for that first mile, he gained, then I gained, and it was really pretty intense. Okay, actually he was probably about 12 years old and I thought it was quite comical. Once I hit the 2 mile marker I kicked it up a notch and said good-bye to fast walker boy. I started to past a few runners in there too and I was like wow, this is awesome! I'm not going to be last after all! Everything was going great until, wait, what, I have to wait? For a semi crossing the road? Oh nooooooo! Those two runner chicks I just passed are catching up, and I'm losing precious seconds! AHHHH, hurry, go faster! Finally, the semi passes and I take off, going faster than I should because I am trying to keep runner chicks at bay and make up for the time I lost. I try to slow down after that and wait for 2.5 miles but I have a hard time with that and figure I can make it till the end. I see 3 or 4 runners ahead of me that I think I can past. I fly by runner one, and then runner two, and then ZOOM!!! No, that's not me. What was that? Oh must be a 10k runner. Wow, he's fast! Okay, I'm at 2.5 miles and my lungs aren't happy. Its getting hard to breath but I pick it up a little anyway. Hell, I'm almost there! Oh cool, I'm coming up on another runner! It's the 70 year old woman, (I hope I am like her when I'm that age!) and we are side by side for awhile, then I push forward and pass her. I see the finish line ahead of me, thank god, then I hear my name being called out! OH MY GOD! How embarrassing! I didn't know they did that! I was going to speed up in the end but I am overcome with shyness as I see the crowds of people, and now they all know exactly who I am! I cross the finish line and see 37:14, and I am so happy, I did better than I thought I would! YEAH!

Sorry if the report is a little sloppy but I swear the first draft was way better! Thanks again for all the comments and encouragement. I thought of you guys before race day and while I ran and it made it so much easier for me just knowing there were people out there rooting me on! Thanks a bunch!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Piece of cake!

I did it! I ran my first race and it was great! Really things couldn't have gone better. The weather was great, cool but not cold, a little bit sunny, and clear. And the trail that we ran on was just gorgeous. Running through a wooded area in the fall is just breath-taking. I was really nervous on the way to the race, but once I was running, it was impossible to stay nervous in such a beautiful setting. I can honestly say I loved being involved in this event! It was an awesome experience and I can't wait to do it again! I want to write more about the race but I am at work right now so I will write some more later on tonight. But I will say that I beat my goal of 39 minutes and came in at 37:14!!!! YEAH!!!!!!

Friday, October 14, 2005

The final countdown

My race is tomorrow. TOMORROW!!! I am freaking out. Okay, I know it's only a 5k. And I know that I am not racing it, my goal is to finish it. But I am scared, and I mean I've got butterflies in my stomach, my heart starts pounding just thinking about it, and I have trouble sleeping at night. Why should I be so scared? I can run 3 miles. I've done it quite a few times by now; it's completely in the bag. But I just can't stop thinking, what if I fail? What if my body goes through some weird thing where I feel like my legs are made of steel and I just can't do it? There have been days where 3 miles feels like work. I've had mental battles with myself to make it to the end. And then there have been days where I can do it without a whimper. IT"S SO RANDOM PEOPLE! I can't predict when I will have a good run or a bad run. Some days I am just itching to get out there and run and I feel great and the my world is a happy place to be, and there's a blue bird on my shoulder, and then whammo! My run just sucks and it sucks me down with it. Other times I am depressed and angry and annoyed, I don't want to run damn it! But I do it anyway and I fall in love with running all over again! UGH! So, my point here is, I am praying to the Running Gods to let me have a good run! Really, I am scared and I wish I had someone to run with me! But I shall run alone. And I shall run slow, but I SHALL finish! Okay, enough of the drama. I have to talk about my new running clothes I just got in the mail yesterday. They are so pretty and so NOT cotton! I am so happy to have a shirt made for running, it's not funny. It's so light and silky against my skin! I ran with it for the first time yesterday and I was just so excited! Who I am anyway? I get excited about exercise clothes? Ha, ha! It's so weird but a good weird.

Ok, wish me luck in my first race. I am hoping to come in at 39 minutes. I think I can, I think I can......