Monday, June 27, 2005

So far I am into week 3 of my training program. Today I start to run 2 minutes, walk 1 minute, for a total of 20 minutes. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, it's not! I am worried about this week. Last week I ran 1 min., walked 1 min., and that was hard enough. It was bearable, but it was work. Now I have to run 2 min., walk 1 min.! I'm scared! And to think eventually I want to be able to run in races! It seems laughable right now. I know we all start off somewhere, but I can't help but think that I should be able to do more than I can right now. That doesn't really make sense, considering I've never ran before, but it's that damn inner devil, telling me I'm not good enough. I've always been that way regarding everything that I do. I start something with good intentions, all excited and ready to go, but then I talk myself out of it. I feel I am not doing enough, I have to be the best, right then and there. No waiting, no practicing, no patience what-so-ever. Before you know it I have talked myself into believing I can't do it and I drop it before I've really begun. Sad, really. So with running I am making myself slow down, take it one day at a time, and say ,'Hey! I'm doing a great job!', even if I don't feel like I am. After all, I could be doing what I was doing 3 months ago. Sitting on my couch, thinking I shouldn't be just sitting on my couch. Sure it was easy, but I didn't feel very good about myself. I was also 15 pounds heavier. I am a pretty petite person so 15 pounds can really make a difference on my body frame. I still want to lose an additional 10, but I plan to just lose that slowly over the next few months. No pressure, just a gradual loss.
Well, I run tonight, so I will tell ya how I did tomorrow!

By the way, did anyone else think Batman sounds just like Jim Carey's alter ego from Me, myself and Irene?? Or is that just me? I couldn't help but laugh! I loved the movie though.


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