Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Leap of faith

Wow, the time is really flying by, isn't it? I can't believe it's almost October already. I have been so busy with EVERYTHING lately that I have neglected my blogging duties. Plus, for the last week my internet at home has been down. Excuses, excuses, I know, but really I have a lot going on right now. I am just so stressed out about it all, I feel like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, knowing I have to jump and get it over with, but oh my god, it's a cliff, and I don't want to jump! But it will be so much easier to just jump already and get it over with right? So jump! Just jump!
I don't know what is wrong with me. Everything is happening at once and it's not all bad stuff, actually it is the opposite, it's very, very good. But for some reason I just feel sad and scared and depressed and STRESSED OUT! What is wrong with me? I get what I want and then I feel worse? I think I just need it happen already and then I will feel better. It's the waiting for my life to turn topsy turvy that has me stressing out.
Okay on to the running!! I am running, haven't missed a day of it, and it is going really good. I am up to 2.75 miles as of last night. It took me 36 minutes to run it but I made it! Tomorrow I am supposed to go the whole 3 miles. Okay, so here's the deal. I am following the C25k running program on I have just completed week 8. You can follow the program by minutes or by distance. I have been following it by minutes up until this week. When I realized that I cannot run 10 minute miles at this point in time, darn it, I figured I better kick it up a notch and start going the distance. In the 25 minutes it called for I was only hitting the 2 mile mark. So I bumped it up so I was running 2.5 miles. Then, the last run I went 2.75 miles. Now tomorrow it calls for 3 miles. Should I run 3 or stick to 2.75? I know there isn't much difference but in the last week I went from running 2 miles to running 2.75 miles and I don't want to push too hard too soon. Especially when I am reading all these running blogs and everyone, (well 3 people), are getting injured! It's a little scary. Maybe I will just see how I feel. If I feel like I can go the extra .25 miles I will. My legs today feel great. No pain or discomfort what so ever. However, my run last night was HORRIBLE! I felt like I had a bowling ball in my stomach and I had a hard time with my breathing. I wanted to quit the moment I started but I made myself run the whole thing. I was so proud of myself when I was finished because it was one of my hardest runs to date. I don't understand why I can have a great run one day, and the next the whole thing is just terrible. I tried to tell my boyfriend about it but he just don't understand. I told him that I really had to push myself and make myself run, and his reply was, yeah but you always have to make yourself, don't you? I was like, umm, nevermind! One of these days I hope t o get a running partner. Ahhh, how nice that would be! Jeez, the things I wish for these days! Times sure have changed!


Anonymous E said...

As horrible as those bad nights are, those are the ones I'm most proud of. The ones when you really just want to quit, but you struggle through anyway! Good for you! You've passed me. I'm still at 2.5. I keep waiting until that gets easier before I push further...I'm proud of you! Great job.

Wed Sep 21, 03:06:00 PM  
Blogger jeanne said...

It's so true. Running is such a mystery! It could be you didn't sleep as well or eat as well or hydrate or any number of things. Who knows? Only the running gods and they aren't telling. Oh and I'm sorry our running injuries are freaking you out! they are freaking us out too! Just keep it slow and steady and don't make any big jumps. I can't believe that program has you doing 10 minute miles so quickly. That's FAST!! Good job, keep it up!! And skip all my entries about my injury. I have to stop posting about it!

Thu Sep 22, 07:46:00 PM  

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