Friday, October 14, 2005

The final countdown

My race is tomorrow. TOMORROW!!! I am freaking out. Okay, I know it's only a 5k. And I know that I am not racing it, my goal is to finish it. But I am scared, and I mean I've got butterflies in my stomach, my heart starts pounding just thinking about it, and I have trouble sleeping at night. Why should I be so scared? I can run 3 miles. I've done it quite a few times by now; it's completely in the bag. But I just can't stop thinking, what if I fail? What if my body goes through some weird thing where I feel like my legs are made of steel and I just can't do it? There have been days where 3 miles feels like work. I've had mental battles with myself to make it to the end. And then there have been days where I can do it without a whimper. IT"S SO RANDOM PEOPLE! I can't predict when I will have a good run or a bad run. Some days I am just itching to get out there and run and I feel great and the my world is a happy place to be, and there's a blue bird on my shoulder, and then whammo! My run just sucks and it sucks me down with it. Other times I am depressed and angry and annoyed, I don't want to run damn it! But I do it anyway and I fall in love with running all over again! UGH! So, my point here is, I am praying to the Running Gods to let me have a good run! Really, I am scared and I wish I had someone to run with me! But I shall run alone. And I shall run slow, but I SHALL finish! Okay, enough of the drama. I have to talk about my new running clothes I just got in the mail yesterday. They are so pretty and so NOT cotton! I am so happy to have a shirt made for running, it's not funny. It's so light and silky against my skin! I ran with it for the first time yesterday and I was just so excited! Who I am anyway? I get excited about exercise clothes? Ha, ha! It's so weird but a good weird.

Ok, wish me luck in my first race. I am hoping to come in at 39 minutes. I think I can, I think I can......


Blogger a.maria said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Fri Oct 14, 10:49:00 AM  
Blogger a.maria said...

i'm retarded and just saw what todays date is..


anyway. yours cant be as bad as mine. i swear. my first race (also a 5K) was a total disaster.

so good luck! i'll be thinking of you when i run tomorrow morning!! can't wait to hear all about it!

Fri Oct 14, 10:52:00 AM  
Blogger jeanne said...

My first 5k (oh like i'm such a runner, i've done TWO total), I had the exact same reaction! Come to think of it, I felt the same way again before my 2nd 5K!!! My daughter's bf, who is quite an athlete asked me a simple question while I was busy freaking out: He said, "How can you possibly fail?? It's not like there's a coach who will be waiting to yell at you or anything!" ah kids. He was so right. There really wasn't any way to fail. That realization SHOULD have quelled my insane anxiety, but of course it didn't. But I hope his wisdom will help you!

Just remember: There's no way to fail!! Isn't that great? And remember: Have FUN!

Fri Oct 14, 11:23:00 AM  
Anonymous E said...

Good luck!!! You're going to do great. Just look how far you've come so quickly! I think I found one I can do the first week of December. I haven't registered yet, but you are my motivation! Can't wait to hear the post-run report!

Fri Oct 14, 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger Lara said...

Have fun! You will do great!!! When the gun goes off, everyone will shoot off the start - run so slow that you think to yourself "man, I am running way too slow." At the second mile, pick it up a little, and at the third a little more. This is where you will start passing all those folks that took off too fast and you will be having a blast! Good luck - you will feel great once you've done it!!

Fri Oct 14, 02:37:00 PM  

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