I'm a wanna be runner hoping this will be my salvation from aging, stress, weight gain, and feelings of inadequacy. It that too much to ask?
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
I haven't posted for awhile, it seems I have some sort of mental block about it. Like when I even think about posting I immediately make an excuse not to. Weird, and I don't know why, other than perhaps there is a lot of stress and a lot of changes going on in my life right now. Strangely though, these changes have temporarily given me more time in which to do anything I feel like doing, or , as has been the case, to do absolutely nothing! It's wonderful and horrible at the same time. Partially because I really don't know who I am without work, and that's kind of sad. I don't do well without structure in my life. Schedules work good for me, although while I have one I usually resent it and imagine life without them. But I am coming to appreciate them now that I don't have one., although, like I said, it is only temporary. I know I should just enjoy this time while I have it but I am left wondering, enjoy the time to do what? Besides running, of course. But to be honest, I am not using all my free time to run. I still run at the normal times, at night. You would think that I would take a morning run or even a afternoon run, but no. My mind is set to run in the evening and that is what it wants to stick with. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Who knows?
I am still doing the 10k training program, but I guess I should tell you I don't plan to run in a 10k race. At least not now. I am just trying to build up to be able to run that distance. Like I said, I do very well with schedules, well, at least I do much BETTER with schedules. Without a plan I think my running career would completely crumble and fall on the wayside. I have this great fear of veering off the schedule. And that' s great cuz I keep on truckin'. I'm not doing as well with the cross-training though. I do all the running, some of the strength training,( I HATE IT!), but all of the running. Last Sunday I actually ran 4 miles! I was super excited to reach that distance, but damn that is a long way! Does it start to seem not as far the farther that you go? I hope so.
???Question for anyone who runs on a treadmill: Does it feel like you have to run faster on the treadmill to keep up with your usual pace outdoors? It sure feels like that to me! Is it in my head, does it have to do with the ground moving beneath your feet, what is it!?!
When I was young I loved to run, but never distance running. I ran fast and I could outrun everyone. It was great. I could even outrun the boys. Until of course around age 13 when the boys grew and I stayed exactly the same. Then came the teenage years, and I started smoking, drinking, and acting like your typical teenager. So I wasnt the most athletic person once I reached my 20's. Now I have quit smoking for about 4 years,and I want to get in shape, not only lose a little weight but to be physically fit. Like maybe be able to run 5 miles, and eventually even more. I can't say the idea of a marathon isn't in my head. Next year? Maybe.